Have you ever wondered what goes into making a relationship healthy or unhealthy? There are many things about relationships that we often get confused about.
An article titled “51 Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship,” by psychologist Alice Boyes, details what an unhealthy relationship consists of. Boyes expresses how “Toxic connections ring multiple alarms, if partners could only hear them.” She laid out a long list of real life situations that would constitute unhealthy relationships. It goes into the wrong values people have and the lack of trustworthiness a partner can have in a relationship. One of them states, “Your partner actively tries to cut you off from your support network of friends and family.” This a form of mental abuse, a way to control a partner in order to make them feel shame or self doubt. In an article called “64 signs of Mental Abuse,” they note that an unhealthy partner might “treat you like a child” in order to control your social life, your friends and family, and your appearance. Alice Boyes comments that “People experiencing abusive relationships may deny what is happening to them because they are convinced that this person is right for them”.
A Sex Ed Squad member at Oceana, Emily Lund, suggested “If you are feeling unsafe in your relationship you should talk to a trusted adult like Ms. Ambrose or a friendly Sex Ed Squad member.” Emily believes that an unhealthy relationship has trust issues, no consent, and disrespect of a persons privacy. She explains “put downs and making a person feel ashamed for something is a form of mental abuse.” Emily thinks that in a happy relationship you should be happy the majority of the time and trust one another. Ms. Tsachres also chimed in saying that a healthy relationship “is about respecting boundaries and having healthy communication.”
Another article, “10 Signs of a Healthy Relationship,” discusses the values and morals that are important in a happy relationship. Psychologist Abigail Brenner wrote, “You and your partner are on the same page in terms of your basic values and life goals. You both know what you want out of life, what your common goals are, what you wish to accomplish in life, and are firmly committed to achieving these together.” She explains that, in a healthy relationship, both partners are always trying to make accomplishments to better each other. Being there for the other person is key if they are feeling negatively about themselves.
Relationships with friends, families, and partners can be hard, but you need to know the difference between relationships that are worth it and ones that are harmful.