Dear Fearful Male

photo courtesy of the weekly fog
photo courtesy of the weekly fog

Ola Annie,

Today at the rally, two boys got a prom date. I was happy for them. I too want to ask a girl to a prom, but I feel that I do not know her too well since I rarely talk to her. I met her last year and I have had a crush on her for months now. She is nice and beautiful, but I am afraid that I will scare her out of the blues if I asked her to the prom. I am afraid to approach her when she is talking to at least one of her friends. Annie, what should I do to ask her out to the prom?

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Dear Fearful Male,

Let me just say that I understand how you must feel, being scared is an emotion that lingers in our mind because we fear the unknown. Think about what you have to gain or lose from asking her to prom. Nothing bad will happen if she rejects you. Just be prepared to feel hurt due to the fact that you have a crush on her, but know that the pain will go away with time.

If she says ‘yes’ then enjoy the good feelings but don’t get carried away and think too much about making prom the most perfect thing in the world. This will set you up with unrealistic expectations and will put a lot of stress on your date and yourself.

As for asking her to prom, I suggest you pick a day where you have class with her or if you see her walking around go up to her, smile and ask her if she has a moment to speak. Then pull her to a less crowded area or a private place like a classroom, where its only you and her and ask her then. If you ask her in the open with her friends all around she will feel uncomfortable and might scare her off. She also might feel pressured to agree, which you don’t want.

Remember that you have only known her for a while and don’t talk much, so before you try anything talk to her make her feel like you’re not a complete stranger. That way when the time comes she won’t have the impulse to say no because you guys don’t know each other. If you want her to go to prom with you it’s best if you ask her to go as friends, so there isn’t the pressure or fear of something “going wrong”. Lastly I wish you the best of luck with everything and if its your last year don’t miss out on prom and have fun no matter what.

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